One evening after dinner last week Bill and I discussed the Stanley Milgram Experiment http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Milgram_experiment and the Stanford Prison Experiment http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Stanford_prison_experiment. I am not sure how this conversation started but I guess when you're friends with someone for twenty years the subject of unethical experiments is bound to come up sometime. Anyways, today is Thanksgiving Day. No doubt I have many things on hand here right now to be thankful for. But, being so far away from most of the people and things I'm thankful for I can't help but wonder if this morning I am on the wrong end of some unethical experiment. In 2009 when I returned home from Sudan one of the most common phrases I heard from people was, "Really makes you thankful for what you've got, doesn't it?" Boy, does it make me thankful. If you have never been away from your loved ones on the one day of the year that is designated to be with them than consider yourself lucky.
Frankly, this trip has been tough. Supposedly, it's the tough times that make us stronger. I don't feel strong today. I feel tired and weak. Don't pity me. I volunteered for this "experiment" and now I'm feeling the effects.
I know there is some knowledge to be discovered at the end of every experiment and I can't wait to see what I learn.
I don't want to be a thanksgiving buzz kill, just want to tell the ones I love that I'm with them today.
Pray for Bill and I that we will remain focused these last two weeks and continue to seek God and serve with joy.
We are planning to come back to Yei next Wednesday or Saturday before heading for Uganda. But, keep in mind, "The best laid plans of mice and men/Go often askew" (corny, but had to keep the poetry streak going) Love you all and have a great day!
Wednesday, November 24, 2010
Wednesday, November 17, 2010
Life is Funny
Here is a message my brother sent me on my birthday: "Life is funny, ain't it? Think back a few Birthdays- I'm betting that on your 20th, you would have never believed that you'd be spending your 25 in Africa. It's amazing the paths we find ourselves on- just imagine where you might be on your 30th."
Life is funny indeed. Trying to imagine where I will be on my 30th birthday makes me laugh. One lesson I have learned so far in this life is that the future never looks like what I think it will look like. This does not mean I don't make goals or have ambitions. In fact, I always tell people that "I'm living the dream." People laugh at me when I say that. That's fine. The truth is, my life really does feel like a dream. When I was 20 of course I did not imagine spending my 25th in Africa. I had my own plans. Boy, did those plans get screwed up. I can't say that I hated reading when I was 20. It was just something I never even thought about. If I saw someone reading I just assumed they were bored or hadn't discovered technologies such as Xbox 360. Reading is now a favorite pastime of mine and I'm the librarian of a Sudanese library. I could entertain you with the original five year plan for my life, but I'd rather not. I tell my Maggie often that I couldn't be happier. And I mean it. I am excited for what lies ahead on the paths I will find myself on.
Bill and I are headed back to Wadupe today after lunch. Men are coming tomorrow to work on the school foundation again! We hope to have the foundation poured and finished by the end of next week. Nearly 70 people came to the library on Monday and over 150 books were checked out. We might take a day next week and visit a nearby gorilla reserve. I'm living the dream.
I am not exactly crazy about poetry, but lately I have been thinking about it. This past week Emily Dickinson's Because I could not stop for Death has been stuck in my head. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Because_I_could_not_stop_for_Deathhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Because_I_could_not_stop_for_Death
Much love and have a blessed day!
Life is funny indeed. Trying to imagine where I will be on my 30th birthday makes me laugh. One lesson I have learned so far in this life is that the future never looks like what I think it will look like. This does not mean I don't make goals or have ambitions. In fact, I always tell people that "I'm living the dream." People laugh at me when I say that. That's fine. The truth is, my life really does feel like a dream. When I was 20 of course I did not imagine spending my 25th in Africa. I had my own plans. Boy, did those plans get screwed up. I can't say that I hated reading when I was 20. It was just something I never even thought about. If I saw someone reading I just assumed they were bored or hadn't discovered technologies such as Xbox 360. Reading is now a favorite pastime of mine and I'm the librarian of a Sudanese library. I could entertain you with the original five year plan for my life, but I'd rather not. I tell my Maggie often that I couldn't be happier. And I mean it. I am excited for what lies ahead on the paths I will find myself on.
Bill and I are headed back to Wadupe today after lunch. Men are coming tomorrow to work on the school foundation again! We hope to have the foundation poured and finished by the end of next week. Nearly 70 people came to the library on Monday and over 150 books were checked out. We might take a day next week and visit a nearby gorilla reserve. I'm living the dream.
I am not exactly crazy about poetry, but lately I have been thinking about it. This past week Emily Dickinson's Because I could not stop for Death has been stuck in my head. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Because_I_could_not_stop_for_Deathhttp://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Because_I_could_not_stop_for_Death
Much love and have a blessed day!
Wednesday, November 10, 2010
long shadows
Out in the woods I dance
From one end
to the other.
It's not easy, you know.
The woods get dark at night
Sometimes instead of dancing,
I crawl.
I hear strange sounds.
Naturally,
I close my eyes.
Afraid, but smiling
I think,
Ain't it strange in darkness
The things we see.
For me the most difficult part of living in the "bush" here in Sudan is not the myriad of deadly snakes that are slithering about. The most difficult thing is not the inescapable heat. It's not the language barrier. It's not hidden land mines or threatening rebels. For me, the hardest thing happens each night between the time I decide I'm tired and the time when I actually fall asleep.
It's called thought.
Without distractions thought is an unstoppable force. At home after dinner the television is there. The girlfriend is there. The lights are there. The car is there. I can go anywhere. I can do anything. At home, I usually do enough during the course of a day that by the time I make it to bed I am too tired to lay awake and think. But what happens at 7:30pm in a place where there is no electricity? What happens when I don't know the language well enough to join in the fireside conversation? What happens when my ipod is dead? What happens when my flashlight won't produce enough light so that the words in a book can be read? I will tell you what happens: A dreadful foe whom they call thought emerges.
With the exception of a slither of moonlight on clear nights, it's so dark inside our house in Sudan that I literally can't see my hand in front of my face. Thought seems to be nocturnal. It thrives in darkness. When the thoughts do not allow me to sleep they are usually pretty harsh. In the darkness I start to see what my life really looks like. The plank in my own eye is pretty large.Of course I don't lay awake and think of the good things that I need to keep doing in my life. Have you ever heard of anyone making a New Year's things to keep being good at list? Instead, each night I stare into the dark and add more things to my list of resolutions. I think of how many distractions I have at home and where they each rank in priority in my life. It's scary to stare at your own life. It's like a beauty queen removing the makeup and staring in a mirror for hours. I see many imperfections and blemishes in my life. But God is telling me that instead of reshuffling all of the distractions or removing a few only to add several, to focus on him. If I seek God I will not need anything to distract me. This doesn't mean that the darkness won't be as scary, but I am learning to revel in it! Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
P.S. My grandfather (Tom Cook) and grandmother (Nancy Cook) passed from this earth this week. Prayers for my family are needed. It's so strange to be so far away and miss their funerals. They were two great people and will certainly be missed.
Things in Wadupe are well. Very well. It's exciting. After a month of prayer, construction of the primary school will continue the end of this week or early next week! The YWAM team is holding daily seminars for the community and church leaders to teach spiritual growth and education. The Wadupe Library and Tutoring Center is growing. More and more people are coming each day! We have a little more than four weeks remaining in Sudan and already I am starting to miss this place. Please continue praying for the upcoming vote and for the nation.
Thanks for reading and have a blessed day!
From one end
to the other.
It's not easy, you know.
The woods get dark at night
Sometimes instead of dancing,
I crawl.
I hear strange sounds.
Naturally,
I close my eyes.
Afraid, but smiling
I think,
Ain't it strange in darkness
The things we see.
For me the most difficult part of living in the "bush" here in Sudan is not the myriad of deadly snakes that are slithering about. The most difficult thing is not the inescapable heat. It's not the language barrier. It's not hidden land mines or threatening rebels. For me, the hardest thing happens each night between the time I decide I'm tired and the time when I actually fall asleep.
It's called thought.
Without distractions thought is an unstoppable force. At home after dinner the television is there. The girlfriend is there. The lights are there. The car is there. I can go anywhere. I can do anything. At home, I usually do enough during the course of a day that by the time I make it to bed I am too tired to lay awake and think. But what happens at 7:30pm in a place where there is no electricity? What happens when I don't know the language well enough to join in the fireside conversation? What happens when my ipod is dead? What happens when my flashlight won't produce enough light so that the words in a book can be read? I will tell you what happens: A dreadful foe whom they call thought emerges.
With the exception of a slither of moonlight on clear nights, it's so dark inside our house in Sudan that I literally can't see my hand in front of my face. Thought seems to be nocturnal. It thrives in darkness. When the thoughts do not allow me to sleep they are usually pretty harsh. In the darkness I start to see what my life really looks like. The plank in my own eye is pretty large.Of course I don't lay awake and think of the good things that I need to keep doing in my life. Have you ever heard of anyone making a New Year's things to keep being good at list? Instead, each night I stare into the dark and add more things to my list of resolutions. I think of how many distractions I have at home and where they each rank in priority in my life. It's scary to stare at your own life. It's like a beauty queen removing the makeup and staring in a mirror for hours. I see many imperfections and blemishes in my life. But God is telling me that instead of reshuffling all of the distractions or removing a few only to add several, to focus on him. If I seek God I will not need anything to distract me. This doesn't mean that the darkness won't be as scary, but I am learning to revel in it! Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.
P.S. My grandfather (Tom Cook) and grandmother (Nancy Cook) passed from this earth this week. Prayers for my family are needed. It's so strange to be so far away and miss their funerals. They were two great people and will certainly be missed.
Things in Wadupe are well. Very well. It's exciting. After a month of prayer, construction of the primary school will continue the end of this week or early next week! The YWAM team is holding daily seminars for the community and church leaders to teach spiritual growth and education. The Wadupe Library and Tutoring Center is growing. More and more people are coming each day! We have a little more than four weeks remaining in Sudan and already I am starting to miss this place. Please continue praying for the upcoming vote and for the nation.
Thanks for reading and have a blessed day!
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