long shadows

Out in the woods I dance
From one end
to the other.
It's not easy, you know.
The woods get dark at night
Sometimes instead of dancing,
I crawl.
I hear strange sounds.
Naturally,
I close my eyes.
Afraid, but smiling
I think,
Ain't it strange in darkness
The things we see.

For me the most difficult part of living in the "bush" here in Sudan is not the myriad of deadly snakes that are slithering about. The most difficult thing is not the inescapable heat. It's not the language barrier. It's not hidden land mines or threatening rebels. For me, the hardest thing happens each night between the time I decide I'm tired and the time when I actually fall asleep.
It's called thought.
Without distractions thought is an unstoppable force. At home after dinner the television is there. The girlfriend is there. The lights are there. The car is there. I can go anywhere. I can do anything. At home, I usually do enough during the course of a day that by the time I make it to bed I am too tired to lay awake and think. But what happens at 7:30pm in a place where there is no electricity? What happens when I don't know the language well enough to join in the fireside conversation? What happens when my ipod is dead? What happens when my flashlight won't produce enough light so that the words in a book can be read? I will tell you what happens: A dreadful foe whom they call thought emerges.
With the exception of a slither of moonlight on clear nights, it's so dark inside our house in Sudan that I literally can't see my hand in front of my face. Thought seems to be nocturnal. It thrives in darkness. When the thoughts do not allow me to sleep they are usually pretty harsh. In the darkness I start to see what my life really looks like. The plank in my own eye is pretty large.Of course I don't lay awake and think of the good things that I need to keep doing in my life. Have you ever heard of anyone making a New Year's things to keep being good at list? Instead, each night I stare into the dark and add more things to my list of resolutions. I think of how many distractions I have at home and where they each rank in priority in my life. It's scary to stare at your own life. It's like a beauty queen removing the makeup and staring in a mirror for hours. I see many imperfections and blemishes in my life. But God is telling me that instead of reshuffling all of the distractions or removing a few only to add several, to focus on him. If I seek God I will not need anything to distract me. This doesn't mean that the darkness won't be as scary, but I am learning to revel in it! Matthew 6:33 But seek first the kingdom of God and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well. 

P.S. My grandfather (Tom Cook) and grandmother (Nancy Cook) passed from this earth this week. Prayers for my family are needed. It's so strange to be so far away and miss their funerals. They were two great people and will certainly be missed.
Things in Wadupe are well. Very well. It's exciting. After a month of prayer, construction of the primary school will continue the end of this week or early next week! The YWAM team is holding daily seminars for the community and church leaders to teach spiritual growth and education. The Wadupe Library and Tutoring Center is growing. More and more people are coming each day! We have a little more than four weeks remaining in Sudan and already I am starting to miss this place. Please continue praying for the upcoming vote and for the nation.
Thanks for reading and have a blessed day!